KAYAKS!

Last week Aaron and I purchased kayaks!  I know it's a little crazy to just buy them, instead of renting.  But we just knew that we'd get tons of use out of them, and that in the end, it would probably be cheaper and more convenient to simply purchase them.  We plan to use them for fishing, exploring lakes and slow rivers, and exercise.  

Before buying them, we checked out places to kayak in Colorado (because bodies of water can be a bit sparse here!).  The majority of places seem to be white water, and Class 3+ rivers, which isn't what we want to do.  But, we found a couple places that are close enough for day trips, and have good fishing.  These pics are of the second place we went -- Eleven Mile Reservoir.  It was SPECTACULAR!  

Eleven Mile Res. is located in Eleven Mile State Park.  We have gone fishing in Eleven Mile Canyon (Eleven Mile River) a lot, but have never visited the reservoir.  The canyon is rocky and beautiful, with a fast and narrow river running between granite boulders.  The reservoir is a huge lake surrounded by a combination of sandy and grassy shores, and, again, huge granite boulders.  The water is calm, but there are speedboats allowed in the river, and I actually found that navigating the wakes was kind of fun!

Aaron went fishing, while I just wanted to paddle around and occasionally stop to eat lunch and read my book (I need to get a real book, because bringing my nook out in a kayak is scary!).

The reservoir was much bigger than we expected.  It took us about half an hour just to paddle maybe a quarter of the length of the lake.  But eventually we found this secluded rocky area that was absolutely stunning.

And did I mention how perfect the weather was?  We have had thunderstorms here nearly every day starting around 2:00, and we were expecting to have to paddle for our lives back to our car once the thunderstorms started, but they never came!  Instead it was a beautiful day - sunny and 80 degrees.

Overall, we are so excited about these kayaks, and we expect to go out on them nearly every weekend this summer!  We have family and friends coming to visit (yaya!), and if they'd like, we may take them out here.  

Stress & pimps

Today is one of those days where I obsess over something small to avoid thinking about more serious topics.  My obsession today -- at least the main one -- is acne.  My acne went away for the most part (besides one or two smallish volcano pimps that I seemed to constantly have) in November and December.  But since last month, it has slowly regained its foothold on my face.  It's a little painful, yes.  And it takes forever to cover all these pimps with concealer each morning.  But mostly, it just sucks being an adult with moderate-severe acne.  Everyone told me it would go away when I got out of my teenage years, but it just got worse.  I feel uncomfortable in my own skin.  I feel powerless to manage it.  I feel insecure.  Sometimes I even feel that people judge me, like my skin is "dirty" and that's what causes my acne.  But really, as I go about my day, my acne is not usually on my mind.  I only feel those feelings sometimes.  I know there's only so much I can do, and so I try not to dwell.

However.  I've been obsessing for a good three hours.  Reading articles, flipping through a book my mom bought me about holistic acne management, and scouring the internet for face products with just the right list of ingredients.

And I know it's silly.  I know it is.  And honestly I think I am just stressed about my next exam, various papers and projects that are all due quite soon, how dirty my apartment is, finding a summer job, figuring out how to by a volunteer at the local hospital, the possibility of running another marathon next fall (with a friend of mine who is fast), and a lot of body insecurity issues that have been on my mind almost constantly for the past few months.  I feel guilty and overwhelmed with all of it, and it's much easier to obsess over my face.  Or my body.  Or running.

So, I don't really know how to end this.  Because honestly, as soon as I click "publish" I'm going to dive back into searching for a cure for my acne.  And my jiggly thighs.  And my incredibly slow running pace.  I guess I just wanted to come clean.  Hopefully tomorrow I can tackle some of these to-do's and I will feel better.  

All I want to do is...

...
watch Naruto
read books
browse blogs
eat hot oatmeal every morning
get my hair cut
sleep
run incline intervals on my beloved 4th treadmill from the right with the excellent TV
paint my nails
walk my puppy
and mostly, just be supremely lazy...

But, I have my first final for my half-semester course on Monday so I will be studying for the next 33 hours and 23 minutes.

*sigh*

My amazing husband.

This semester has been hard.  I constantly feel drained.  I barely have any time to do anything beyond homework and sleeping.

Today I had clinicals from 6:30-3:30.  They went well, but I am always so exhausted at the end of a clinical day.  I got home by 4:00, laid in bed, and didn't wake up til 7:30.  I still have a lot of homework to do tonight, so when I woke up and saw the time I sort of snapped at Aaron for not waking me up sooner.  As soon as I snapped I knew I was in the wrong.  I apologized a ton and I felt so guilty.  I thought he was mad at me.

You see, Aaron has been incredibly patient with me this whole semester.  He's gone out of his way to make me dinner, to buy me small gifts, to do whatever he can to help me with my homework, and he even has taken over parts of my house cleaning chores.  Sometimes I feel like I'm taking advantage of him.  But most of the time I am just so thankful for the way he has served me and loved me throughout this stressful semester.

So tonight, when I snapped, I knew that he had a right to be angry.  He was so patient with me, but after just one slightly too long nap I lost my patience with him.  I decided to go take a shower to cool off and to wake up a little bit more before I started in on my homework.  And you know what I found when I got out?

A hot cup of mint tea sitting at my desk.

And a husband who wasn't one bit mad at me.

That is how incredible he is.  This is how he has been all semester.  I am a very lucky woman to have a sweet husband who is so willing to serve his wife.  He shows me so much love.

Lord, thank you for Aaron.  Thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you.  

busy lizzy

I have so much I want to say!  But I am so so busy.  I've got a test in 1 week, clinicals and OR experience on Thursday and Friday, tons of assignments and group projects coming up, Valentine's Day, and just... bleh.  Too much.

So, hopefully after I take my test on Monday, complete my group presentation on Tuesday, and write my OR paper that's due Wednesday, I will have time to update ya'll on my life.

Until then I will just say that I really like Silver Lining's Playbook.  And that getting a break to go see that movie with my husby was the highlight of last week.  

I need a win

Tomorrow, 8 AM.  My first Med-Surg exam.  It's on fluid & electrolytes and IV therapy.  After my recent bomb in mental health and considering that clinicals begin soon ... I need a win.  I need to do well.  I just need it for my sanity and need it to feel confident that I will be a good nurse (someday).

I need my head to be clear.  I need to remember what I've studied.  I need to think critically and correctly.  I need to find the answer that is most right and stick with it.  I need a win.

So, I am going to take a long bath (I always take one before a test day), and then study study study.

**update:  I got my win!  It felt great.

Home again.

I'm back home, well back home from my other home.  Back in Colorado after a long and lovely stay in Oregon.

I've spent the last 2 days with my husband, refilling our cupboards with food and enjoying the Colorado sunshine and warm-ish weather (if 37 degrees can be considered warm).  But this wonderfully relaxing and lazy vacation is coming to an end, and I need to get back to regular life.

School starts in two weeks and I have much to do!  I want to get the apartment cleaner, go to ikea, get all of my immunizations for school, complete my pre-class reading and study guides, get my school books and supplies, and exercise a lot!  Of course, I have this all broken down into many many small to-do's to be checked off.

So tomorrow, I'll begin getting it all done.  I'd like to finish 5 things tomorrow tomorrow, and continue to do 3-5 things each day until my crazy schedule officially begins.  This semester I will be searching for ways to relieve stress and keep my mind peaceful despite a busy life, and the first step is to start off with the rest of my life as "in order" as it can possibly be.